An Unsolicited Personal Story from a Mother
Amy’s Story
I’m Amy and I have three adorable children who I am now seeing at the Contact Centre in Wellington.
It was two years ago when everything went wrong in my life. Jake, my youngest was two, Chloe was four and Joe was six. I got depressed and never realised how prescription anti-depressants would take over my life. I didn’t have the energy to look after the children and I’m ashamed to say that I neglected them and Social Services got involved.
Tom and I had always been good together but he got fed up with all the hassle and our marriage of seven years ended. Of course the kids stayed with him and I moved back in with my mum.
Two years on and I’ve got myself sorted out, no more anti-depressants. But although I’ve got my own apartment Tom doesn’t trust me seeing the children. We ended up going to court and it took months to finally get a Children’s Arrangement Order allowing me to meet them at the local Contact Centre every other week.
My solicitor explained that the Centre was run every Saturday afternoon at the Belmont Hall in Wellington and that it was a safe, friendly place where the children and I could spend time together. The visits wouldn’t be supervised but there would be trained volunteers there to facilitate our time together.
No-one would watch us, make judgements, or write reports other than to say that the visit had taken place. I could take drinks and activities for the children. She explained that before Covid the Centre had provided toys and children could run around, but now we’d get our own corner with a table and chairs and I’d need to wear a mask throughout the visit. I was worried that it would all cost a fortune and was amazed to hear that a one off £50 payment meant that we could use the Centre for as long as we needed to.
The solicitor filled in the application form which went off to Val, the Manager.
I was worried that Tom would refuse to bring the children but Val explained that she would be meeting with him and me separately and she would reassure him as much as possible but also she would listen to any concerns he had. She stressed it was important that we both gave the children positive encouragement and although we preferred not to meet, we shouldn’t say anything negative about each other.
Val was so kind and explained that I had to be totally committed, arriving punctually and being attentive to all three children. She acknowledged that it wouldn’t be easy, they’d have to get used to me again and keeping them amused for an hour would be challenging. The volunteers would be supportive but they wouldn’t get involved in issues between Tom and me.
Of course I was worried, I hadn’t seen my children for six months – they’d have changed as much as I had. I didn’t even know what they liked to play with but Val told me that Tom would arrange for them each to bring a favourite toy or game.
When that first Saturday arrived I was nervous but the volunteers were so welcoming and friendly and our own corner was quite spacious. I’d arranged to pay my £50 in two instalments, so I handed over the first £25.
When the children arrived one of the volunteers brought them across. Jake was a bit hesitant but Chloe and Joe ran to me. We were all a bit awkward together at first, not sure what to say, but then Chloe asked if she could read her book to me and Jo wanted to show me his Manchester United stickers and Jake snuggled up to me for a hug.
The hour sped by and I got a bit tearful when the volunteer told me that the visit was nearly up, but remembering that it was likely to be just as hard for the children I put on a brave face and promised I’d see them next time. Yes, it was sad seeing them walk off with one of the volunteers and I caught a glimpse of Tom waiting by the door. I hoped they’d tell him how much fun they’d had.
I hope that with the court reviewing arrangements in six months things will be better between us and I can have more time with the children, maybe away from the Centre. But that’s a way off and I am just so, so grateful that I can go to the Contact Centre and spend quality time with my children.
Thank you Val and your wonderful volunteers.
Amy’s Story
I’m Amy and I have three adorable children who I am now seeing at the Contact Centre in Wellington.
It was two years ago when everything went wrong in my life. Jake, my youngest was two, Chloe was four and Joe was six. I got depressed and never realised how prescription anti-depressants would take over my life. I didn’t have the energy to look after the children and I’m ashamed to say that I neglected them and Social Services got involved.
Tom and I had always been good together but he got fed up with all the hassle and our marriage of seven years ended. Of course the kids stayed with him and I moved back in with my mum.
Two years on and I’ve got myself sorted out, no more anti-depressants. But although I’ve got my own apartment Tom doesn’t trust me seeing the children. We ended up going to court and it took months to finally get a Children’s Arrangement Order allowing me to meet them at the local Contact Centre every other week.
My solicitor explained that the Centre was run every Saturday afternoon at the Belmont Hall in Wellington and that it was a safe, friendly place where the children and I could spend time together. The visits wouldn’t be supervised but there would be trained volunteers there to facilitate our time together.
No-one would watch us, make judgements, or write reports other than to say that the visit had taken place. I could take drinks and activities for the children. She explained that before Covid the Centre had provided toys and children could run around, but now we’d get our own corner with a table and chairs and I’d need to wear a mask throughout the visit. I was worried that it would all cost a fortune and was amazed to hear that a one off £50 payment meant that we could use the Centre for as long as we needed to.
The solicitor filled in the application form which went off to Val, the Manager.
I was worried that Tom would refuse to bring the children but Val explained that she would be meeting with him and me separately and she would reassure him as much as possible but also she would listen to any concerns he had. She stressed it was important that we both gave the children positive encouragement and although we preferred not to meet, we shouldn’t say anything negative about each other.
Val was so kind and explained that I had to be totally committed, arriving punctually and being attentive to all three children. She acknowledged that it wouldn’t be easy, they’d have to get used to me again and keeping them amused for an hour would be challenging. The volunteers would be supportive but they wouldn’t get involved in issues between Tom and me.
Of course I was worried, I hadn’t seen my children for six months – they’d have changed as much as I had. I didn’t even know what they liked to play with but Val told me that Tom would arrange for them each to bring a favourite toy or game.
When that first Saturday arrived I was nervous but the volunteers were so welcoming and friendly and our own corner was quite spacious. I’d arranged to pay my £50 in two instalments, so I handed over the first £25.
When the children arrived one of the volunteers brought them across. Jake was a bit hesitant but Chloe and Joe ran to me. We were all a bit awkward together at first, not sure what to say, but then Chloe asked if she could read her book to me and Jo wanted to show me his Manchester United stickers and Jake snuggled up to me for a hug.
The hour sped by and I got a bit tearful when the volunteer told me that the visit was nearly up, but remembering that it was likely to be just as hard for the children I put on a brave face and promised I’d see them next time. Yes, it was sad seeing them walk off with one of the volunteers and I caught a glimpse of Tom waiting by the door. I hoped they’d tell him how much fun they’d had.
I hope that with the court reviewing arrangements in six months things will be better between us and I can have more time with the children, maybe away from the Centre. But that’s a way off and I am just so, so grateful that I can go to the Contact Centre and spend quality time with my children.
Thank you Val and your wonderful volunteers.
